Monday, February 21, 2011

I Love My Life!

It has been 7 days since discovering that I lost every single one of my belongings including clothing, Chacos, text books, passport, knick knacks from China and Hawaii, journals, bedding, the list can go on and on. While I have had a roller coaster ride of emotions this past week I had what some may call an epiphany on Sunday as Brit and I were driving back from Draper. As previously stated my love language is words of affirmation, which would explain why the most traumatizing part of this whole situation is the fact that I lost all of my journals and positive words of encouragement that were given to me at various times in my life. 

As we were driving I the realization came to me that the notes that were written to me and the journals from the last 4 years don't define me. I have been blessed with a good memory, while it won't be in detail, I will be able to go back through my college years and write down at least 75% of the events, which is better than nothing. I decided earlier this week that the crap has definitely hit the fan and I can be upset about it or I could pick myself up, brush myself of, and move on with life. 

 My epiphany came as I realized that I have had an amazing life, a life I could never have even dreamed of as I was graduating high school almost 6 years ago (yikes!) As I reflected on all that I have done and everything that I have accomplished it made me want to do more and become better. As I reflected back I realized that I have graduated from college with my associates and bachelors degree,  I went to Kunming China and made amazing friends and fell in love with China and teaching, I went canyoneering in Fall of 2008 and which started my love for the outdoors, I went on Spring Summit which has forever changed my life and given me more confidence than I could ever dream of, I went back to China and became convereted to the gospel of Jesus Christ through the influence and example of those in the Nanjing branch. The person who took my car may have all of my material possessions but he/she can NEVER take away those experiences. I am actually grateful for this experience because it has pissed me off enough to make me want to complete more items on my bucket list.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

I have the best friends in the world... no seriously I really do. My life these past couple days have been a little rough, okay really rough. Who ever expects to walk out of their house and realize that their car and all of thier belongings are missing. I know this may come as a shock to some of you but I am fiercly independent woman, I don't like to ask for help and I don't like to feel like a charity case. And for the first time in my life I feel as though I have absolutely nothing (probably because I don't, I didn't even have my freaking toothbrush!)

Yet my friends from all different eras, some from college, some from China, some from church, some from home, and some I haven't even met yet have all stepped in and have been the answers to many of my prayers. They have given me their clothes, written me notes, taken me clothes shopping, called the police station to see what was going on, texted or called me to make sure I was ok, and the list goes on.  The love I have felt from everyone is overwhelming and I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father to put such wonderful people in my life, I couldn't ask for better friends. I am also thankful to my Heavenly Father for guiding me to this amazing job, the concern they have shown for a complete stranger touches my heart. I know that Ohio will be a wonderful move and I am excited for this next stage of my life. It doesn't heal the pain I feel when I realize that my journals from college, China, Summit and Hawaii, the notes of encourgment I have recieved throughout the years, the assignments from four years of college, my chacos, and my wall hangings from China, have all left my life because of the poor decision of one person.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


As I wake up every morning I come to the realization that I am one day closer...
One day closer to driving to Vegas
One day closer to driving 27 hours across the country
One day closer to starting my job
One day closer to picking up my life in Utah and starting a new life in Ohio

As I look back at my last post I am amazed at how much has been accomplished. I have finished my last day of work, I have sold my apartment contract, I have said good-bye to family and friends in Utah and Rexburg, and I have packed my car. When I make major moves I tend to become focused on the end result and forget to enjoy the journey. I am not as motivated to be social becuase I do not have the energy for that. As much as I would love to just be in Ohio, I am reminding myself to slow down and enjoy the journey. The result has been wonderful, I have been able to see so many great friends who have had a substantial influence on my life, and what a perfect time seeing as today is Valentine's day! 

I am usually not thrilled at the idea of celebrating mushy love in a commercialized holiday. But this year as I have been thinking about the meaning of Valentines I realized that it does not have to be a holiday for couples who can't keep their hands of each other, it can be a holiday to celebrate the people we love in our lives. I mean how often do we tell our friends how much they truley mean to us? I find myself afraid to share my feelings with my friends because I'm afraid of what they might think.

--Abrupt subject Change--

It's amazing how much things can change in one instant, based on one decision. Yesterday I woke up without a care in the world, showered, started a blog post which I assumed I would finish later, got ready for a lunch date with Melissa, and then walked out the door, not realizing that my life was about to change regardless of whether I wanted it to or not. As I walked out the door I thought, "what would I do if I walked out of the house and my car wasn't parked there" and then I just laughed to myself because that sort of thing just doesn't happen. Imagine my shock when I walked out of the door and headed towards my car, only to find out that it wasn't there! A million thoughts flooded my mind in just a few short secondes(keep in mind I had my ENTIRE life in that car, clothes, journals, books, camping equipment, old pay stubs, litterally my ENTIRE life), I went from thinking I parked it somewhere else, to wondering if it got towed, to accepting the fact that my car with 99.9% of my belongings was stolen. The rest of the day was filled with lots of tears and phone calls, after all I had my whole trip planned out. I was leaving for Vegas on Tuesday (today), I didn't have time or money for my stuff to be stolen. After 24 hours I have come to accept that everything is gone, and I am not upset that my car is gone, or my clothes, or both pairs of my glasses, or my makeup, or my passport and social security card, or my new shoes I just bought for way to much for my new job, or even my Chacos (all 3 pairs I had in there), I am furious that they have all of my journals from college and wall hangings from China. My love language is words of affirmation so imagine my sorrow when I realized that that every kind word that was said to me throughout the years and was written in my journal is now out of my possession potentiall forever. I have to try not to think about everything that was in the car because I start to weep as I realize I have just lost everything
Regardless of what I don't have I do have to be grateful for what I do have, I had my wallet, cameral, and my laptop. As well as:
1. A pair of jeans
2. A pink cardigan
3. My laptop and camera
4. My wallet (which is a blessing because I ususally leave my purse in my car)
5. My scriptures.
6. My phone
7. Two shirts
8. Two pairs of shoes
9. A curling iron
10. A pearl necklace from China
11. A sweatshirt
12. Yoga pants
13. Two study guide books for the NCTRC exam
14. My diploma for my bachelor's degree
15. A swimming suit
16. A towel
17. My favorite blue scarf
18. A winter coat
19. A pair of tights
20. A half of a bottle of hairspray

Luckily I have amazing friends and family that have been so supportive while I've litteraly cried until I didn't think I had any more tears to cry. I know everything will work out. I'm still going to Ohio, I'm still going to be a recreational therapist. Nothing is going to get in my way.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Reality Check

Oh man, it suddenly dawned on me that I will be traveling 2000 miles half way across the country in just a matter of weeks!! As I think about everything that I need to do and everyone that I need to see before I leave I am overwhelmed. Here is a little glimpse into my current "To Do" list:

1. Sell contract (I will potentially be moving out THIS Saturday, a whole week before I move out).
2. Pack my car (potentially in 2 DAYS!)
3. Find a place to stay for 6 days until I leave for Rexburg
4. Make it through my last week of work (iffy)
5. Say good-bye to friends in Utah
6. Go to Rexburg Feb. 11-13
7. Drive to Vegas on the 14th to say good-bye to family
8. Hope and pray that my car makes it to Ohio
9. Find housing in Ohio
10. Get a health screening and fill out paperwork
11. Start a new job that I where I feel totally inadequate.

I am currently a REALLY stressed and extremely overwhelmed, which is exasperated by the fact that I'm sick AGAIN. Seriously? I can't wait to get out of the petri dish that I work in, it is literally a cesspool of germs.

What is helping me keep my sanity? The latest CES fireside by Elder Christofferson about taking one day at a time. Here are my two favorite quotes or thoughts:

"Don't start planning to bail out because you are nervous for the future- just get through the day."

"Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the character and order needed to realize our dreams."

I guess as I have the strength to get through tomorrow I will be one day closer to realizing my dreams.