"Hang on the walls of your mind the memory of your successes. Take counsel of your strength, not your weaknesses. Think of the good jobs you have done. Think of the times when you rose above your average level of performance and carried out an idea or a dream for which you had deeply longed Hang these pictures on the walls of your mind and look at them as you travel the roadway of life. ~Attributed to Whistler by Sterling W. Sill, "Great Experiences," Ensign, June 1971, 43.
2012 has been quite the year. Here are the top 20 memories that are hanging in the walls of my mind from 2012.
1. I got to see one of my babies at work take his first steps.
2. I had the best job in the world at the Cleveland Clinic Children's hospital.
3. Ran my first 5K in Ohio City
4. I went to church in the Kirtland Temple.
5. Relaxed and enjoyed the sunset at Lake Erie
6. Visited my dear friends Holli and Annie in Washington D.C. (Can you believe it's been 5 years since we met each other in China!)
7. I moved yet again half-way across the country to be back in Utah.
8. Tried anti-gravity yoga.
9. I went to the Christmas Story house.
10. Saw the giant cherry on the spoon, thank you MN for this piece of art
11. Climbed Mt. Olympus
12. Got to see my Great-grandpa and his wife Florence
13. Ran my 2nd 5k, in a ridiculous Santa suit, it gave new meaning to "jingle, all the way!"
14. Ran my 3rd 5K on Thanksgiving with my aunt
15. Got to meet my baby cousin Mary
16. Seeing old friends is always the best
17. Went to my first concert with these great ladies!
18. I got to see my China girls again (Love them so much!)
19. Ran a 10k in Moab (I don't think the world is ready for these pictures!)
20. Chopped down a Christmas tree
Here are a few things that I am looking forward to doing in 2013:
1. Learn how to ski
2. Take the GRE
3. Go outdoor rock climbing at least once
4. Increase confidence in myself
5. Run a half marathon
It has been 4 months since I packed up my CR-V, headed West on I-80 through Chicago, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, and finally arrived in Utah.
I have moved around more times than I wish to count, and each time I learn a little bit more. If somebody wanted to know what lesson I learned from this round of moving I would emphatically tell them "Don't ever move in July/August/September/October time frame." Why you might ask? Because that dreaded homesickness that I talked about in this post, will happen right over the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful time here in Utah, but change is hard, and it makes no difference if you are moving to a location with an iron-clad support system.
I knew that moving to Utah would be hard, but I never expected to miss Ohio as much as I do. It's almost comical as I look back at the posts from the last 2 years (just reading last Thanksgiving's post made me chuckle a little bit to see how far I have come in just a year) , to see how much I wrote about hating Ohio, because now I would give anything to have my "Ohio life" back. Having removed myself from the situation I realize how many wonderful people I left behind, whether they be co-workers, friends from Church, or the patients I worked with. The move happened really fast, a year ago I would have never expected to have quit my job in Cleveland and move across the country to a new career path in Utah. That being said, I know that it is a lot easier to look back at the things that I miss about Ohio, as I sit here on my couch, surrounded by so many wonderful friends that I have known for years. I have here what I always wanted in Ohio, an instant support system.
Despite my longing for the life I had in Ohio, I plaster a smile on my
face and try to make the most of every day (more of the
"fake-it-till-you-make-it" philosophy). I have decided if I keep myself busy enough I won't have time to miss the things I had in Cleveland. I have already run three races
(two 5k's and one 10k), I have been able to go hiking (real mountain
hiking), I have gone back to Moab, I spent the holiday's with family, I
got to hold little baby Brooklyn, I have had somebody to eat Sunday
dinner with every week, and I have laughed so hard I have almost peed my pants. But
I still feel like something is missing, and that is when I came across
this quote that really resonated with me, "Nothing is worth it if you are not happy." and
that is when I realized that all of the decisions I have made to get me
to Utah have not made me truly happy. I thought that I wanted to leave
the clinical setting, that as soon as I changed my career path to a a
more outdoor recreation based job I would find my calling in life.... I
have discovered that thought is FALSE! So what have I discovered you might ask? I have decided that I loved my job in the hospital. I have decided that I love being around my friend's and family. I have decided that I still want to work with medically fragile infants. So after throwing around many options I think I have settled on one.... I want to get my Master's in Occupational therapy at the University of Utah (or maybe University of Minnesota). This is a pretty lofty goal, and I am not sure when this will happen, but just ask anyone, when I know what I want, I get it. As of right now I will continue to give 100% to my job, I will continue to put a smile on my face, and I will continue to enjoy my life in Utah.
In a matter of a few weeks life has a way of turning everything that was once familiar, routine, and safe upside down and all around into things that are now unfamiliar, unknown, and chaotic. For all the complaining I had done about Cleveland, I had grown to love the life I had created for myself. And even though I know in my heart that right now, I need to be in Utah, close to family and friends, it does not make the transition any easier. My last two weeks in Cleveland were full of last minute sight-seeing, last visits, and last bucket list activities. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had to spend time with dear friends and co-workers that helped me throughout my time in Cleveland. Here are a few highlights:
1. I finally made it to the Christmas story house and I am so glad that I did! Although I did not grow up watching the Christmas story I absolutely LOVE Christmas so any excuse I have to see a Christmas tree I will take it, plus hearing the history of the movie was fascinating and I feel as though I will enjoy the movie that much more next time I watch it.
2. My dear friend and co-worker, Deb, took me to
see the sunset on Lake Erie (twice! The first time it was cloudy). It was absolutely
gorgeous and I enjoyed spending the evenings talking with Deb.
3. In an effort to try new things I found a new
activity that I absolutely love…. Anti-gravity yoga. And for those of you who
feel that the word “yoga” can only be used when referring to poses done in
conjuction with meditation and deep breathing, get over it. This type of yoga
integrates poses such as chair, mountain, and warrior, with acrobatics to
strengthen and stretch muscles as well as give you confidence in your body
(because there is nothing like dangling 2 feet from the ground with nothing but
your body and a little piece of material to stop you from face planting into
the ground).
Google Images
Although everybody thinks that I absolutely hated Cleveland
and that I would be skipping out of there (mostly my fault, I know), It was not
easy to say goodbye to Cleveland. I cried more leaving Cleveland than I did
leaving Changzhou, China. Luckily I have been so incredibly busy that I have
not had much time to sit and think about what I have left behind. There are
moments when I feel as though I am just on vacation and that in just a few
short days I will be back in my “hood”, buying the regulars at Costco, going to
see my babies at the hospital, but then I am quickly drawn back to reality.
(usually by my cousin screaming, “more cars, more cars!”)There are moments where I break down in the
car because I do not know where the gas stations are, or I can not find my way
back to my house. There are moments of anxiety as I realize how much I will
need to learn to be able to complete my new job. There are moments of fear as I
realize that I have to walk into the church building by myself, or go to
activities and know absolutely no one. Despite what others might think, this
was not an easy move for me (and just for the record, I never thought it would
be). But despite all the anxiety, fear, and uncomfortablness, I know in my
heart that this was where I needed to be in my life and I just have to move
forward.
The past week has been so incredibly busy! In 10 days I
traveled through 11 different states, gone through 4 different time zones,stayed in 6 different cities, and stopped at
numerous gas stations. As I have traveled through the different states I have
been so blessed to be able to feel so much love in my heart as I have
reconnected with friends and been able to spend time with them. I have been
separated from many of these friends for over a year, but my heart was filled
with gratitude as I saw how wonderful the treated me and how much they loved
me. I was reminded of this love when (due to some unfortunate events) I needed
a last minute place to stay the night I got into Utah. I asked several people
if I could stay and within a matter of a few hours I had three friends who were
willing to let me sleep on their couch. I was reminded why I have the greatest
friends ever when my friend insisted that I sleep on their bed while they took
the floor. Was it a big deal? No, I would have done the same thing, but after
being away from them for so long, that simple act was enough to remind me how
loved I am.
This week I was fortunate enough to spend with Melanie, my
aunt, her husband and 3 year old son (and their adorable dog Bobby). The first
couple days were spent in Vegas where I met my 2 week old cousin Mary. Then it
was up to Vernal, Utah were Mel reside. It is never a place that I would choose
to live, but I have managed to have fun while I’ve been out here. Between the
kayaking, birthday party, and trips in the community with Emmit, I have
thouroughly enjoyed my stay and will be really, really sad to leave. And for
those of you who think I have a heart made of stone, Emmit and Bobby are here
to prove you wrong. They have me wrapped around their little fingers (or paws),
all they have to do is look at me and I let them do whatever they want (do not
even get me started about what I do when they start to cry). I love coming to
visit Mel, Val, and Emmit, they always spoil me, especially when it is my
birthday! I have loved spending the time with Emmit, and although he has given
me quite a few bruises, his laughter warms my heart. This year for my birthday
I got the spend the day with Emmit, and I couldn’t have asked for a better day
(besides the tempertantrum he threw leaving the library where the head butted
me multiple times). But how could you be mad at him when he says, “Tiff, Emmit
sad, Emmit so sad.” Then getting to spend the night roasting hot dogs outside,
with the dogs running around and Emmit saying, “Tiff, party cake, party cake
Tiff.” I seriously could not have asked for a better week!
As promised here is an update about my trip to the Nation's capital:
When I first accepted the job in Utah and decided to make a bucket list I knew that the first thing on that list was to make a trip to Washington D.C. After all I could not very well say that I had only driven through Washington D.C. and did not take the time to stop in such a historic part of our Nation's history. At first I was apprehensive of the trip, only because I was afraid that I would have to go see all of the sights by myself, and while I have grown accustomed to doing many things by myself I knew that this trip would be more enjoyable if shared with at least one other person, regardless if I liked them or not. Lucky for me, I remembered that my friends Holli, Annie, and her husband Victor all lived in the D.C. area and I quickly became excited to see them again.
Part of our Group from China 2007
Holli to my R, and Annie to my L
Long story short I had the most amazing trip of my life. Annie, Holli, and I first met in Kunming, China back in 2007. We stayed in contact throughout the years, Annie went on her mission to Romania and graduated from college, Holli got married, had a baby, and graduated from college, and I went back to China and graduated from college, however we had not seen each other for at least 3 years. After a few Facebook messages I arranged to stay with Annie and her husband Victor in Stafford, Virginia. I knew through Annie's blog that she had been taking quite a few visitors on tours of the D.C. area and did not want to inconvenience her by making her see the sights yet again, so I had planned on still seeing them by myself. But that is where I was wrong and when I remembered how amazing my friend's are, because not only was Annie and Victor willing to let me tag along with their plans that weekend, but they also took me to see any of the sights that I wanted, even if they had just been a couple weeks earlier. And you know what, it was amazing, I loved the time I had to catch up with Annie and reminsce about old days. And I loved meeting her husband, they had some great stories, and we shared a lot of laughter! Holli even came down with her little girl, who I got to meet for the first time! It made me remember that although my confidence in making friends has struggled here in Ohio, that I am have been blessed with such amazing friends throughout the years and that I am capable of making friends.
Saturday was spent going to the temple, and then Vic and Annie took me up to Annapolis for a BBQ. Victor went to the Naval Academy there and had a friend who had just graduated who was throwing a BBQ. After all the yummy food I got a tour of the Naval Academy from the alumni. Annapolis was hands down my all time favorite place I have been (in America). It probably had more to do with the people that I was with, but for the first time in 18 months I felt like I could breath again. It probably helped that the weather was absolutely gorgeous, I seriously couldn't have asked for a prettier day.
Sunday was full of more sight seeing. The Marine Corps Museum, where I
got to experience what it took to be a marine, as well as see the
original pictures and flag from the battle at Iwo Jimma. I loved going with Annie and Victro because they were so knowledgeable in the history behind all the exhibits, they were like my own personal tour guides (hopefully it wasn't too annoying!)
Hands down my favorite museum, especially the flag. I have a soft spot
in my heart for those men and women who protect our countries freedoms. I
get tears in my eyes when the Star Spangled Banner is sung, or when I
see a flag that was raised in a battle that was fought to protect my
freedoms.
http://www.iwojima.com/images/main_small.gif
After eating a yummy Indian dish that Annie made, we headed off to Arlington cemetery to see the changing of the guards. Yet another humbling experience to hear the background story about Robert E. Lee, and then to see all of the gravestones of those who have died in battle. After we were done visiting the graves we decided to see a couple of the sights that would be out of our way on Monday. The funniest thing happened as Victor went to go park. As with any city the only way you are going to find a spot is if you know how to parallel park. Lucky for us Victor grew up in Jersey and grew up parallell parking. We were lucky enough to find a spot and just as Victor is reversing to go into the spot we here a car honking. This man had come up from behind and tried to pull into the spot as we were reversing. As the men were discussing whose spot it really was these men across the street yell to Victor, "He pulled an illegal U-turn, it's yours buddy!" That man tried to dibs a spot from across the street and pull in as we were reversing.... we were not going to back down, it was our spot fair and square. Lucky for us the guy decided he was wrong and pulled away, leaving us free to park there. We went to the classic sights, the Lincoln memorial, the Washington Monument (unfortunately the reflecting pool was under construction so it just looked like an ugly mess of rocks). The Vietnam memorial was probably my favorite, plus Victor was telling me the method behind what each man was carrying and why (extremely, fascinating). Again the weather was beautiful, it was absolutely gorgeous. After such an eventful day we decided to go home and watch a movie. And while you may be wondering why I am putting such a small insignificant event on my blog (I mean seriously everybody watches movies, you don't have to go to D.C. to watch them). It meant the world to me to be sitting next to somebody on the couch, laughing about the movie, looking at pictures from her trip, doing all the things I used to do in Rexburg, that I have been so desperately missing the last 18 months.
Monday was another exciting day, Holli and Charly came to join us as toured the White House, the Washington Monument, the National History Museum (I got to see the original flag that inspired our national anthem as well as the Hope diamond), as well as one other museum I can't remember. Again the weather was absolutely gorgeous and we got to eat some yummy food!
http://en.wikipedia.org/
Moral of the story: I have amazing friends. I am so grateful that the
Lord allowed our paths to meet 5 years ago and that he allowed our paths
to cross again.
August 4th will be a bittersweet day. It will be the day that I will start my journey back out to Utah. Despite my somewhat sad and depressing posts the last year and a half, not to mention my negative attitude about the people in Cleveland, it might surprise you that I am actually extremely sad to leave. After all, I will be leaving a place that I have grown to love. I love watching the leaves change in the fall, I absolutely LOVE the old houses that are found in my neighborhood, I love my job and all the people that I work with, I love feeling like I can take care of myself, and most of all I love the people that I have met and the friends that I have made. I know that I have seriously undermined their importance in my life, and I just pray that I have not hurt any of their feelings in doing so. Cleveland is my home, I know where the grocery stores are, and where to find the cheapest gas. I know how much to buy at the grocery store and when to buy it. I know what my schedule will be like week after week and have a routine for going to the gym. For the first time in my life I have settled down and have made Cleveland my home.
In everybody's life there is always a place where they can look back and think, "Man, I sure did a lot of growing up here." Whether it's the cabin you went to every summer, or that year in college when the real world came knocking and you realized that you were no longer the care-free teenager who only had to worry about what boys liked her and what she was going to wear to school the next day. One day when I look back and think, "When did I become an adult?" I will remember that the process started in Cleveland. That is where I learned how to find an apartment to live in and set up the gas and electricity in that apartment. I learned how to juggle the demands of work, church, and social life, and to budget my money. I learned how many decorations, appliances, furniture, linens, etc are actually needed to fill an apartment and I learned how to successfully navigate myself around the ghetto. Most importantly I learned who I am, what motivates me, my discourages me, what hurts me, and what makes me happy.
Yes, August 4th will be a bittersweet day, I will be packing up my car
with everything I own (hopefully it will not get stolen this time) and
driving to MN while singing at the top of my longs to this song by
Jerrod Niemann
